I have no desire to lie more and hypocrisy. Not out of fear of this position. I know that God has made me holy.
I do not want to live in this contradiction. I have to decide whether I want to please God or whether I want to please certain people. All the people that are meant to know now modest. I will not dwell on the problems that are on now and I know that my hate and my anger towards these people anything but good.
But I have not tired of things by halves. I can serve God or I can serve these idols that I've created themselves. I'm tired of living a double life as a Christian and as a linker. Either or.
I've decided for God. Far too often I was disappointed with my idols. Far too often I was the worship of "other gods" purely riding in the shit. I will give my life 100% God and no high-flown ideas more.
And I'll say it again. I want to love my enemy. I want the love of my skin in the face. And I will also love the Nazis. I want to love the child fucker. I want to love the murderer. I want to go out into the street and people look at that I accept and assume. I do not want me fucked up on a bus and looking extra NEN place of the most free. I do not want to be more bitter and hateful. I am looking for friendship. Adoption. Love. But if I'm not ready to give all that I can not expect to get it. God has so generously bestowed me with love. It borders on the worst self-centeredness that love not to pass on. I want to give love.I hope it works somehow!
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